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Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln

Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln Book Summary – James C. Humes

What you will learn from reading Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln:

⏸️ The power of pauses: How strategic pauses boost communication impact.

📊 Making stats engaging: Tips to present data compellingly.

🎩 Props for presence: How props and style enhance your public image.

Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln Book Summary

We are living in the age of the Personality cult. This is evident in how magazines like People, a spin-off of Time magazine, outsell their predecessors due to their focus on individuals. Hollywood also recognises this trend, often relying on famous actors to attract audiences, sometimes regardless of the movie’s plot.
 
Leaders who can present themselves well, using what’s James C. Humes calls Powertalk, tend to be more successful. An example is Winston Churchill, who used his powerful speeches to bolster Britain’s morale during World War II, deterring Nazi Germany from invading.
 
The book “Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln” highlights twenty-one key strategies that can enhance anyone’s communication skills, making them more charismatic and effective. These tips range from simple adjustments to learning new speaking techniques, all aimed at giving individuals a more commanding presence, confidence, and influence.
 

1 – Power Pause

 
The Power Pause is a technique that builds anticipation in your audience before you start speaking. This method was used effectively by historical figures such as Benito Juarez and Napoleon Bonaparte, who despite being short and having accents that could have been seen as disadvantages, captivated their audiences by pausing before they spoke. Juarez would silently rehearse his opening lines while making eye contact with his audience, creating a silent tension. Similarly, Napoleon would wait quietly before addressing his troops, making him seem larger in their eyes with each passing second.
 
Using silence strategically can make a significant impact whether you’re introducing someone, giving a speech, or answering a question. By pausing before responding to a question, you give the impression that you are thoughtfully considering your answer, which can make you seem more wise and considerate. This deliberate silence adds weight to your words and enhances the audience’s perception of you as a speaker.
 
Just as a frame enhances a painting by artists like Raphael or Rembrandt, a Power Pause can set the stage for your speech, making your first words more impactful. Before beginning your speech, try making eye contact with your audience and silently repeating your opening sentence to yourself. This preparation can significantly strengthen the effect of your opening words, helping you command the room. So, next time you’re giving a sales pitch or responding to a question during a conversation, consider implementing a thoughtful pause.
 

2 – Power Opener

 
Effective speakers begin their talks with a strong opening, avoiding common expressions of gratitude or praise. The initial moments of any speech are crucial, as the audience is most attentive and curious about the speaker. Using this time for mundane pleasantries can squander a key opportunity to captivate your listeners.
 
Instead, starting with a compelling personal story that resonates emotionally or humorously with the audience can make a powerful impact.
 
Regarding the timing of compliments, Winston Churchill noted that offering praise at the start of a speech can seem insincere, like flattery. However, incorporating praise into the middle of your speech, a technique he referred to as “parenthetical praise,” is perceived as more genuine. This approach suggests that when everyone starts their speech with “It’s an honor to speak…”, such phrases become clichéd and lose their impact, making it hard for your audience to value any compliments you might offer.
 
To grab your audience’s attention, invest time in crafting and refining your opening sentence. This “Power Opener” should be prepared thoroughly and practiced well. Following a strategic pause, deliver this opening with impact, instantly engaging your audience and setting a dynamic tone for your presentation.
 

3 – Power Presence

 
The importance of clothing and accessories as a statement was understood by figures like FDR, Churchill, and Stalin, each using signature items like cigarette holders, cigars, and pipes as symbols of their era. Churchill, in particular, was conscious of his “Power Presence,” often seen in a navy blue pinstriped suit, accented with a gold watch chain, a blue polka dot tie, and other accessories that enhanced his authoritative image. He, along with Roosevelt, utilised their attire and props, such as glasses, cigars, and victory signs, as extensions of their public personas.
 
The message is clear: Adopt a personal style that enhances your presence and makes you memorable, much like having a “star suit” for important occasions. Choose attire and accessories that reflect your identity and leave a lasting impression.
 

4 – Power Point

 
For any talk or presentation, you must figure out the Power Point first. Whether you are going to a breakfast meeting with a potential investor, making a sales talk, or delivering a product presentation, you need to first come up with the key message you want to leave with your audience.
 
Harold MacMillan, who would become Britain’s first prime minister in the 1950s, asked Winston Churchill what he thought of his “maiden address” in the 1925 House of Commons. Churchill harrumphed: “Harold, when you rose you didn’t know what you were going to say, when you were speaking you didn’t know what you were saying, and when you finished you didn’t know what you had said.” Through this criticism, Churchill emphasised how important it is to zero in on the purpose of your message.
 
Churchill was contemptuous of speeches that rambled. Because he was a great speaker, he was once asked whether he really enjoyed listening to other speakers at the various banquets he attended, to which he replied, “There are too many public speeches and too little private thinking.”
 
First “stop, think, and plan” the Power Point you want to get across. In other words, what is the bottom line of your message? Focus on that first! Then you can reinforce your Power Point, with examples and case stories. But first, work out your Power Point.
 
The British prime minister did not like things to be “runny”–whether they be a pudding or presentation. And the way to prevent that is by cooking it up beforehand. It’s too late in the eating later
 
The problem with most talks, presentations, and business conversations is that the would-be communicator didn’t first plan his Power Point in his own mind before he prepared his remarks.
 
Make figuring out your “bottomline purpose” your first priority. Then meditate, formulate, and dictate to yourself that Power Point.
 

5 – Power Brief

 
What does a Power Brief entail? It’s the concise statement that stands in for an entire speech. This succinct communication is not just memorable; it’s impactful. Brevity isn’t just smart; it’s striking. This principle holds true whether you’re presenting from behind a podium or seated around a boardroom table.
 
This idea “Less is more” is an adage that has been identified with architecture and fashion. It’s also a speaking technique that presidents as well as preachers exploit as they build a foundation with words.
 
About as much as he hated to spend money, President Coolidge hated to waste words.
 
Once, after the president had attended church, a reporter had this conversation with Coolidge:
 
“What was the sermon about, Mr. President?”
“Sin,” answered Coolidge.
“What did he say about it?”
“He was against it.”
 
Yet another anecdote illustrates the power of Coolidge’s brevity:
 
A woman in a receiving line at the White House once gushed to him, “Mr. President, I bet my husband that I could get you to say more than two words.”
“You lose,” was Coolidge’s reply
 

Surprise with brevity:

 
Effective leadership often involves catching your audience off-guard. If they brace themselves for a speech lasting twenty to thirty minutes, surprise them with a succinct five-minute address. This approach is what you’d call a Power Brief. Conciseness is undoubtedly preferable to prolixity. Being succinct is far more impactful than being verbose.
 
Moreover, brevity is memorable. Consider the most frequently recited speech of Churchill in its entirety. It’s his brief address, lasting less than a minute, delivered during his 1941 return to Harrow School, where he was once a student with less-than-stellar achievements.
 
At times, brief can say it all. For example: At the Other Club in London, new members are initiated by having to deliver an extemporaneous talk on a subject picked randomly from a hat. When it came time for Churchill to be initiated, the chairman reached into the hat and pulled out a card that had on it a single word: “SEX.”
Churchill looked at the card and intoned in measured tones:
“Sex… [pause] it gives me great pleasure.” Then Churchill sat down.
 
Another great example from Advertising one of the most impactful newspaper ads is often a full page that hosts a single, small sentence right in the middle. It’s not the full use of space that grabs attention, but the strategic use of minimal space to make a significant impact.
 
So be Incisive and sound Decisive.
 

6 – Power Quote

 
Those who never quote are in return, never quoted. – BENJAMIN DISRAELI
 
The First Rule: Be Comfortable with the Quote
 
This is the first rule in Power Quotes: Don’t refer to any author with whom you are unfamiliar or uncomfortable quoting.
 
The Second Rule: Prominent and Pithy
 
The second rule, which I call the “General Rule” is this: The name should be recognisable and the quotations brief. James Humes once heard a Philadelphia city councilman quote an entire paragraph from mega-celebrity basketball player Michael Jordan in a talk to high school kids. After the first minute of Jordan’s quotation, the councilman lost the attention of the high schoolers, even though the quote had been uttered by their greatest hero
 
One exception exists to the “General Rule”: If you frame and stage a quote from an unknown, it can be effective.
 
On the other hand, here is a short and telling observation: “Good communication spells the difference between a leader and a manager.” This quote is from Dr. Richard Eisenbeis, a professor of management at the University of Southern Colorado-but who ever heard of Dr. Eisenbeis? Had the same quote been credited to, say, Bill Gates, it would be not only pithy but prominent
 

Frame the quote with a gesture:

 
In 1901, the forty-four-year-old Roosevelt proclaimed a theme for his foreign policy befitting the nation’s new status as a world power. Standing before his audience, T. R. paused in mid-speech to take out an envelope from his waistcoat, and then, with his pince-nez spectacles held in place, he focused on the envelope and intoned in his high, choppy voice:
 
There is an old African saying: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”
 
In other words, he framed the anonymous quote like a picture and hung it out for everyone to see. He cited a quotation that is still remembered and credited to Theodore Roosevelt a century later.
 
Speech is theatre. So dig up one apt quotation and frame it with props.
 

Cross-Quotemanship

 
What could be more unexpected than quoting one’s political opponent to support your own ideas?
 
Cross quotes enhance credibility. In the 1960 presidential campaign, James Humes amassed a pile of quotations from Democrats like Eleanor Roosevelt, Dean Acheson, and Harry Truman criticising Senator Kennedy to support the Republican campaign.
 

Dramatize to Emphasise

 
Dramatise and emphasise your quote to make it a Power Quote.
 
Quotes can wield power. A speaker who drones on at the same tempo and in the same register of voice may find his listeners’ interest waning, but a quotation in the middle of a talk is like a baseball pitcher’s change of pace. A quotation arrests the audience’s attention. It wakes them up. It energises them. But remember: Use only one quotation per speech, and dramatise it. Stage it, perform it, act it out! Put power into your quotation!
 

Create a Quote file:

 
Initiate the habit of compiling a collection of meaningful quotes. This practice can significantly enhance your speeches or presentations. Prior to your next engagement, sift through your collection to select a quotation that not only complements your data but also emphasizes your key points. Prepare this chosen quote by printing it onto a three-by-five card, then scale it down to the size of a business card and laminate it for durability.
 
When the moment is right in your presentation, gracefully retrieve it from your wallet or purse. To give your quote an impactful delivery, consider adopting a distinctive accessory for reading it. For example, if you don’t normally wear reading glasses, mimic what I do: take out a pair of black-rimmed glasses with round lenses, similar to those Winston Churchill wore (though mine have plain lenses), from your lapel pocket. Donning these glasses before reciting your quote can transform it into a memorable Power Quote, leaving a lasting impression on your audience.
 

7 – Power Stat

 
When you read a statistic such as “123,411 new customers last year” from a card or notes, you cite that precise statistic to gain immediate credibility. But when you add an explanation such as, “That means we have doubled our sales in a year,” you ensure longer range memorability.
 
A statistic is a numerical abstraction, which is the most difficult abstraction to etch in your listener’s memory. The challenge for speakers is presenting the statistic in such a way that the audience can grasp it.
 

A great example – To the Moon and Back

 
In 1958, the deficit of the United States had ballooned to a billion dollars. For the first time, the U.S. deficit had reached ten figures. The astronomical statistic, however, was only an abstraction for Americans- a statistic that did not engage the senses, a number too enormous to assimilate and absorb.
 
Eisenhower was searching for the graphic image of the billion-dollar deficit that would resonate with Americans.
He remarked to speechwriter Kevin McCann, “If you took a billion dollars and put each dollar end to end, would it go to the moon?”
McCann called the Commerce Department and put their statistician to work on the measurements. In a speech weeks later, Eisenhower said this:
To understand the billion-dollar deficit, imagine taking all the one-dollar bills in a billion and laying them out end to end. Why, it would more than go to the moon and back again!
 

Rely On or Remember?

 
When reading off numbers to prove a point, ask yourself what are you seeking: credibility at the time of your talk, or memorability that will stay in your listeners’ minds for at least the next week?
 
For maximum believability, cite one statistic as you would a Power Quoteby pulling out a three-by-five card, putting on your spectacles, and reading it.
 

3 R’s

 
For any presentation or talk, you’ll be wise to observe what I call the three R’s of numbers: Reduce, Round, and Relate.

Reduce Your Statistics

 
First, reduce the number of statistics you cite. Surveys show that one statistic is the most listeners without a pen and notepad can take away with them from a presentation.
Rather than citing two statistics to prove the same point, follow Winston Churchill’s advice about picking cigars:
“Pick the strongest and the finest.”
The use of two statistics confuses and confounds listeners. The impact of the first statistic becomes muddled and muted when you cite the second.
 

Round Your Statistics

 
Second, round off the statistics you use. The London Times on July 5, 2000, included these two lines: [The British] are purchasing 38,000 mobile phones a day. By the end of the year, six out of ten British, including children and pensioners, will have their own mobile phones
 
If the article were to be delivered as a talk, “six of ten” would be remembered a lot better than the statistic about how many phones are purchased each day.
 
Rather than say “21.2% choose decaf coffee for breakfast,” say “one out of five.” We can easily remember three out of four, four out of five, or seven out of ten. We also more easily remember fractions involving the first ten numerals. We readily grasp one-half, onethird, two-thirds, one-fourth, two-fifths, and so on
 

Relate Your Statistics to Your Listeners

 
The third R is to relate a statistic to a story.
 
Sometimes all you have to do to find an appropriate statistic is refer to your New York Times Almanac. Ralph Nader probably did so when he rallied against big business, saying the entire country of Mozambique has 20 million people with 15 billion GNP, while Morgan Stanley has about the same GNP, with 200 partners instead of 20 million sharing it.
 
Speaking of billionaires, James Humes reference a story that he heard about Andrew Carnegie, the steel baron:
 
A man came to him and said, “Mr. Carnegie, you are the richest man in the world. Don’t you think you should share some of that?”
“Yes,” said Carnegie, surprising the man.
Carnegie then sent a note to his male secretary, who appeared in a few moments with a check for the caller in the amount of 32 cents. That number was derived by taking Carnegie’s wealth of hundreds of millions and dividing it by the population of the world.
 

Compare to the Familiar

 
Henry Kissinger, the former secretary of state, spoke to the Union League in Philadelphia in 1998. I heard him say this about that troubled area in the Balkans, Kosovo:
 
“Kosovo is about 5,000 square miles-in other words, about the size of Connecticut.”
 
Five thousand square miles is hard for any listener to grasp and process, but Kissinger’s audience could easily picture the size of Connecticut.
 
Another example can be found when Vice President Gore skewered Governor Bush on his tax proposal (even though he used egregiously inaccurate statistics) with this line: What will this tax cut give you? About enough for a working family to buy one can of Coca-Cola.
 
Comparative statistics can surprise, even shock listeners if the right comparison is dawn.
 
For example, a speaker at a US National Chamber of Commerce meeting said this:
The Lord’s Prayer has 66 words, the Ten Commandments 179 words, the Gettysburg Address 282 words. But do you know how  many words are in the U.S. government’s regulations on the sale of cabbage? 26,911 words!
 

Don’t use meaningless statistics:

 
A problem today’s politicians face when they cite numbers as authority is cynicism from the audience. Many listeners believe that the old adage “figures lie and liars figure” contains some truth. So, if someone challenges you with some potentially incriminating stats, here’s a light-hearted anecdote you could share:
 
I said to my Grandad who recently turned 80, “Isn’t it fascinating that for every man who’s reached the ripe old age of eighty, there are seven women.'” To which my grandad quipped, “My boy, that has got to be the most pointless statistic I’ve ever come across.”
 
There are no doubt many meaningless statistics. But some numbers are noteworthy. Some figures can add force to your point. The right statistics can tell a story that your listeners will believe and remember.
 
It’s all in your presentation. So reduce, round, and relate any statistic you use to make it a true Power Stat.
 

8 – Power Outage

 
Relying too heavily on slides can turn them from a helpful tool into a crutch for many executives, reducing the need to engage directly in speaking. Remember, a presentation should convey your personality and ideas through your voice and presence, not just through visuals on a screen. Let slides complement your message, not replace your role as the speaker.
 
The true challenge lies in the direct interaction with your audience, something slides can’t replicate. Embrace the principle that “The tongue can paint pictures unseen by the eye,” emphasizing that verbal communication is key.
 
Visual aids should enhance, not eclipse, your speech. If a visual aid is too complex or diverts attention away from your message, it’s better left unused. Effective visuals are simple, supportive, and self-explanatory, enriching your presentation without overshadowing your spoken words.
 

Slides: An Appetiser, Not the Meal

 
A slide makes a great appetiser or dessert, but not the whole meal.  Visual aids should be a supplement, not a substitute for speaking. The display shouldn’t deflect attention from the speaker, nor should it detract from the message.
 
An easy acronym, SLIDES, sums up James Humes “do’s and don’ts”:
 
Slogan: Make the caption under each slide a slogan, a punch line, or a one-sentence phrase. Don’t write an epistle.
Large: Put the print of the slogan in LARGE CAPS.
Illustration: Keep the illustration, picture, or graph simple and uncluttered.nl Large:
Directional: Don’t use a directional stick or pointer. It’s too distracting.
Erase: Erase one picture before you move to the next one. Otherwise, it detracts from your talk. If you have a series of slides, place black ones in between.
Speech: Don’t read your speech from a series of slide captions. Your audience can read. You are delivering a speech, not a series of introductions to slides.
 
Great leaders like Churchill and Reagan didn’t use slides yet were among the most powerful speakers in history. Don’t let slides become a crutch lest you become a professional cripple.
 

9 – Power Wit

 
Notice, though, that the title of this chapter is not “Power Jokes.” Instead, it is “Power Wit” because “wit” suggests intelligence as well as humour.
 

Don’t Tack on Jokes

 
The difference between a joke and humour is the difference between a pornographic picture and a love scene in a good movie. A joke told for its own sake-without much relevance to the speech that follows-insults the audience. Yet speakers continue to open their speeches with banal amenities, which are then followed by a trite joke.
 
Aristotle once wrote, “The essence of humour is surprise.” If that is so, why attempt to be funny when everyone is expecting it? Instead, sneak an amusing story into the middle of the talk, when it is sure to provide some sort of comic relief.
 
When you try to break the ice by rehashing a stale joke, you risk plunging into a chilly reception from your audience. Respect is the one thing an executive cannot afford to lose. And you will lose some if you tell a joke that others have heard before or don’t find as funny as you do.
 
Leaders don’t begin speeches with stale old jokes, but they do spice up their talks with humorous anecdotes
 

The Three R’s of Humour

 
Make it Realistic, make it Relevant, and don’t Read it!
 
Make Stories Realistic and Relevant
 
Tell stories that are believable. Don’t repeat those jokes you heard about a horse walking up to a Texas bar or that one about Jesus and Moses on a golf course.
 
Anecdotes about the great and famous rate the best. It doesn’t matter if your anecdote doesn’t trigger gales of laughter because a colourful insight into a historic personality is always entertaining. Churchill once observed, “Anecdotes are the toys of history.” Since toys are fun to play with, try playing with some anecdotes to liven up your presentations.
 

Adopt an Anecdote

 
The secret to presenting speech humour is to weave it in as part of your own experience.
 
Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, Franklin Roosevelt, and Ronald Reagan were all superb raconteurs and they made their stories part of their own experience-even if secondhand.
 
Lead them by the hand into your story by saying, for example: “An old woman in the town I grew up in” or “A lawyer I know once had a client walk in…
 
When you find a story that fits the purpose of your speech, adopt it. It is now your story, something that happened to you or a friend of yours. Say it aloud, and then close your eyes and tell it in your own words.
 

Humour and Poetic License 

 
Don’t worry about stretching the truth. You’re not under oath. There is humor license as well as poetic license.
 
Another executive James Humes knows cited a fictional classmate in this anecdote:
I remember my high school biology class when Dr. Davidson asked Angela DiMarco, a transfer from a parochial school, “Angela, what part of the human anatomy enlarges to about ten times its normal size during periods of emotion or excitement?”
“I… I can’t answer that question,” the girl stammered as she shyly avoided looking at the teacher. Then Doctor Davidson called upon a boy sitting next to her.
“What is the human organ, Clark?”
Clark correctly answered, “The pupil of the eye.”
“Miss DiMarco,” said the professor, “your refusal to answer my question makes three things evident. First, you didn’t study last night’s assignment. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third,” when you marry you’ll be in for a tremendous disappointment.’ concluded the professor, “
 

Tell Rather Than Read a Funny Story

 
When sharing a humorous anecdote or story during your speech, it’s far more engaging to recount it as if it’s your own experience rather than reading it straight from your notes. The only time you should consider reading directly is if a specific written item—like a college acceptance letter or a newspaper excerpt—acts as a crucial element of your story, enhancing its impact.
 
Attempting to read a funny story verbatim can fall flat in front of an audience. To avoid this, familiarize yourself with the story by practicing it out loud beforehand. Boil it down to key phrases or bullet points that will serve as cues. These cues will help you glance briefly at your notes for a quick memory refresh, allowing you to maintain eye contact with your audience as you recount the story, keeping them engaged and connected.
 

Ending or Beginning with Humor

 
The humorous story can be the way to launch a brief two minute talk and can also be an effective way to end a talk.
 
So wield wit like Churchill. Be a raconteur like Reagan. Make your anecdotes realistic and relevant, and be sure you tell it in your own words rather than memorise or read it! Glance quickly at your notes to jog your memory if necessary. Remember that the secret of humour, as Reagan once said, is to be entertaining while enlightening, and vice versa.
 

10 – Power Parable

 

Parables Provide Pictures of Abstractions

 
“Humanity” is another such abstraction. For that Jesus described how a beaten-up guy on the side of a road who looked like what we would call a “homeless” was passed by several Jews. But then a Samaritan-not a Jew, but one of another tribewas the one who stopped by to administer to him. “Humanity” in this story is personified in the Good Samaritan, now a widely used term for people who help others. Parables give pictures to abstractions.
 
The power of a parable is well illustrated with this story about President Abraham Lincoln, who looked like a sure loser for re-election in 1864.
Meanwhile, Lincoln’s best asset for winning was his experience as the incumbent president. But to say “I have  experience…” wouldn’t work. “Experience” is an abstract word, ineffective without any picture to make the asset sink into the minds of the public.
So Lincoln instead regaled his audience with the story of the Illinois farmer who wouldn’t change horses in the middle of the stream. That single story rallied rural America behind him, and Lincoln won the election.
 

Turn Concepts into Concrete

 
Churchill, in his “Scaffolding of Rhetoric” notes, said that an abstract idea goes in one ear and out the other―never establishing itself unless it is reinforced by a picture or story. Turn concepts into concrete if you want them to be understood and remembered.
 

Arsenal of Anecdotes

 
James Humes finds parables so valuable that he’s collected dozens that will fit almost any occasion or topic. He’s not the only one. Benjamin Franklin was no speechmaker, but he had an arsenal of anecdotes with which to press home any point.
 
Look back on your own experiences. Everyone’s life is a storehouse of stories. One executive James Humes worked with told him that his bottom-line message to stockholders was more research. To reinforce that idea, he told in harrowing detail about how his brother had almost drowned in an ocean undertow. The family his brother was visiting at the shore had failed to research the area and thus didn’t find out about the nasty currents that always appeared in the afternoon.
 
Another CEO wanted to talk to his company’s internal sales force about being at the right place at the right time. So James Humes asked him how he met his wife.
Puzzled, he asked, “What does that have to do with anything, Humes?”
“Hey,” James replied, “it’s about being at the right place at the right time.”
 

A Case Story to Communicate Your Point

 
Try telling a real life story to flesh out your concept. If, for example, you want to make the point that your company must anticipate and be responsive to change, you could illustrate this concept by comparing two giant “five and ten cent” stores of the past century, Woolworth to Kresge.
 
So pick out a business tale that will bolster your point. Check the back files of the Wall Street Journal, New York Times (Business Section), Fortune, or Forbes for parallels to your own company’s situation. Then fit their story to your own marketing, sales, or research problem. Parable power is persuasive power.
 

11 – Power Gesture

 
Gestures Say More Than Words. A gesture may be a signal from the soul that words cannot convey.
 
Washington rode up from Mount Vernon to confront them. He alit from his white stallion in the barnyard. Standing before the group of officers, the old general drew out a prepared statement from his cloak. Then he took some spectacles from his pocket and began:
“Honourable Gentlemen, I must apologise for my spectacles. My eyes have grown old in the service of my country.”
The officers had never seen him wear glasses before. This is a power gesture.
 

The Right Signal at the Right Time

 
One gesture may be all it takes to get your point across.
 
Ronald Reagan defeated President Carter with the perfect gesture in his 1980 debate.
After Carter attacked him, Reagan delivered his patented cock of the head with a smile and uttered, “There you go again.”
 
Another executive James Hume knew once opened a company meeting by pointing his finger like a pistol, aiming, and firing three times. He followed up by outlining three ways they were going to “kill” their chief competitor: “by lower costs” (he cocked his finger in trigger action), “by better marketing” (he cocked it again), “and by a new advertising campaign” (and he flashed his index finger as a pistol once again).
 

Finding the Right Exhibit

 
Sometimes it is not so much exhibiting the right pose as finding the right exhibit. A woman executive wanted to dramatise the cost of government regulation to a business. At a trade association breakfast meeting, she carried to the front of the table piles of huge sheets of paper tied with rubber bands. Then she dropped them on the table in front of her with a thud. After a pause, she announced:
“These are copies of all the regulations from the Federal Register. Some of them conflict with each other, but we have to comply with all of them. These are taxes, not only of our money, but of our time and personnel.”
 

12 – Power Reading

 
Edmund Burke, had perfected the art of reading a speech while appearing not to. He would share this secret with Churchill and Roosevelt.
 
The Secret? Don’t Speak While Looking Down. You must be looking at your listeners when you are talking to them.
 
A business executive who knows how to read from a text is exceedingly rare. That is no surprise. But James Humes is surprised at how few politicians have taken the time to master the art-especially since most politicians have two speeches: their standard one, which they know by heart, and the one prepared for them, which they read.
 
The chief executives of the biggest banks, insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, airlines, and airplane manufacturers are almost compelled to read their speeches, they argue, by the scope of their corporate liability. House counsels have nightmares about their CEOs delivering some unscripted remark that journalists might seize upon to show their insensitivity and greed. Or worse, the CEO might have an unfortunate lapse that would support a billion-dollar class-action suit.
 
To avoid such lapses or miscues, companies often have a team of speechwriters write a set of prepared remarks, which is then sent to the general counsel’s  office and is next run by the vice president for public affairs. When friends and acquaintances of the business leaders hear him read the finished product, they are puzzled that this executive, whom they find so strong and forceful in private conversation, is so wooden in his public presentation.
 

See Stop Say Technique

 
The solution to ineffective reading is to adopt the Churchill/Roosevelt/Reagan method, which Humes calls the See-Stop-Say technique.
 
Look down and take an imaginary “snapshot” of the words you see. Bring your head back up and pause. Then, while looking at a lamp or other object at the far end of the room as if it was a listener, say, or “conversationalise, what you have just memorised. Then look down again to see the next chunk of words, bring your head back up and pause, and then speak. See, Stop, Say.
 
Why must you pause after you bring your head up? Because most speakers start to speak while their heads are moving up. They think the pause has been too long so are anxious to begin speaking again. The pause may seem like an eternity to you, but to your audience it is a microsecond-a microsecond that “punctuates” the sentence, builds audience anticipation, and helps listener understanding.
 
Does the pause still sound laboured and stilted? Does it still seem artificially jarring to you? Maybe it does to you, but to your audience you’ll be sounding like Winston Churchill, Franklin Roosevelt, or Ronald Reagan.
 

Not Awkward but Authentic

 
Have someone videotape you, and then watch yourself. The corporate executives Humes coaches are always amazed when they see themselves on the screen. The pause they thought felt so awkward makes their delivery sound more like their conversational style.
 
In our conversations, we often pause to think of the right words, to organise our thoughts, to frame the next sentence.
 
When you read a speech without pauses, you seem to be reading a speech someone else wrote for you. When you pause, you sound sincere, as if you’re trying to come up with the right words to express your thoughts. Remember that the pause is the major tool in reading a speech. It not only helps you “eye-photograph” your text, phrase by phrase, but also lets the audience digest your words better.
 

13 – Power Poetry

 

Transform a Speech into Poetry

 
Churchill would argue that an article should be written for the eye, but a speech for the ear. Churchill knew the secret of Power Poetry.If speech is prose, the phrase-by phrase technique can transform it into poetry.
 

Tenets for Typing

 
For any talk, little or long-an introduction or a chamber of commerce talk, a press announcement, an in-house pep talk-take your typed speech and space it out in bite-size phrases.
 
Rules for typing out their text.
  • When you come to a comma, cut the line off!
  • If your subject is followed by its predicate, don’t separate them.
  • When a preposition is succeeded by its object, don’t dissect the two!
  • Never end a line with “a” or “the.”
  • When you see a period, make sure to call a halt.
 
The line spacing makes it easier for you to read and easier for your listener to absorb the words. The layout lets the key words and phrases leap out at you. You don’t have to be glued to the text.
 
Churchill discovered this secret of changing the old typed article layout into a format approaching that of verse. James Humes Students tell him that this way of laying out a talk into phrases is the most useful advice they have taken away from his Language of Leadership class. 
 
So, change your format to Churchill’s. Lay out your lines like a leader, and you’ll sound like one.
 

14 – Power Line

 
There is a secret to coining a Power Line. Winston Churchill reportedly came up with a formula that’s easily remembered by its acronym: C-R-E-A-M, which stands for Contrast-Rhyme-Echo-Alliteration-Metaphor.
 
Just as cream rises to the top in a bottle of un-homogenized milk, the lines created with these five elements will stay uppermost in a listener’s mind.
 

Contrast -Opposites Attract

 
For Contrast, note this Churchill quotation:
 
“If the present quarrels with the past, surely the future will already have been lost.”
 
If you want to coin your own Power Line, try pairing antonyms. Take one word for the first part of the sentence and then its opposite for the second part.
 
Hubert Humphrey, one of the Democratic Party’s finest orators in the last century, used this technique.
 
“Let us move out of the shadow of states’ rights into the sunshine of human rights”
 
Alexander Hamilton in his draft for Washington’s Farewell Address in 1797 paired these antonyms for this aphorism:
 
“The best means of insuring peace is to be prepared for war.”
 
Benjamin Franklin had spawned a large collection of quotations punchy maxims that he used to liven up the pages on weather and crops in his Almanac.Contrast was a favorite technique of Franklin’s. Here are several examples of “Poor Richard” adages using contrast:
Half the truth is often a great lie.
There never was a good war or bad peace.
If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
Never leave that for tomorrow which you can do today.
 

Rhyme Is the Prime Ploy

 
The second phrase technique Churchill sometimes exploited-Rhyme-is perhaps the most ancient of storyteller’s tricks.
 
This illustrates the use of the internal rhyme-more subtle than the hard-beat rhymes of the nursery. Here’s examples of internal rhyme by Churchill:
 
Out of intense complexities, intense simplicities emerge.
Humanity, not legality, should be our guide.
 
Benjamin Franklin, with his Poor Richard sayings, preferred more obvious sing-song rhymes, such as these:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Little strokes fell great oaks.
Or perhaps his most quoted maxim:
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
 
Franklin Roosevelt, in vetoing an act of Congress, also used rhyme when he declared:
This is not an act providing relief for the needy but for the greedy.
 
Ted Sorensen, a speechwriter for Kennedy, told Humes that he kept on his desk, as Churchill did, a rhyming dictionary.
 

Rhyming Nine

 
Versifiers as well as speechwriters often turn to the Rhyming Nine-AME, AIR, ITE, AKE, OW, AY, ATE, EEM, AIN-for coining “zinger” lines.
 
1. AME: aim, blame, claim, fame, name, shame, same, game, reclaim proclaim, flame I heard one executive say this to his board:
We cannot remain the same company unless we reclaim the market we once had.
2. AIR: bear, care, dare, fare, fair, share, aware, swear, pare, declare, where, scare, prayer, beware
3. ITE: bite, cite, fight, fright, height, light, night, right, quite, sight, write, delight foresight, ignite, tonight
4. AKE: ache, break, fake, sake, shake, stake, take, make, awake, undertake, mistake
5. OW: dough, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, know, low, show, slow, throw, ago
6. AY: day, pray, stay, say, way, pay, play, away, stray, they, array, display
7. ATE: ate, date, fate, great, late, state, slate, straight, wait, weight, abate, donate
8. EEM: beam, cream, dream, gleam, steam, scheme, seem, stream, team, theme, esteem, redeem
9. AIN: gain, pain, plain, reign, stain, strain, wane, vein, attain, retain, regain, explain, remain, sustain
 

The Echo Effect

 
  1. Repetition of a word or a phrase.

 
Kennedy’s most quoted line is this one from his inaugural: Ask not what your country can do for you, but rather what you can do for your country.
Franklin Roosevelt’s most famous line also came from his first inaugural, and it, too, features the echo effect:
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
 
Some of Winston Churchill’s most memorable lines employ the “echo” technique. Here are a few of them:
We shape our dwellings and afterward our dwellings shape us.
All wisdom is not new wisdom.
Life is sensation; sensation is life.
The further backward we can look, the further forward we can see.
 
  1. Repeat the noun.

 
Note how Churchill repeats victory in his first speech as prime minister.
What is our aim? I answer in one word. Victory-victory at all costs, victory is spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival.
 
Churchill also used a repetitive preposition for the echo effect before a joint session of the U.S. Congress in 1941 when he proclaimed:
 
We have not journeyed across the oceans, across the prairies, across the mountains because we are made of sugar candy.
 
  1. Phrase Reversal

 
The echo line that etches deepest in the memory is also the hardest to craft. That is the “phrase reversal.” In his Almanac, Benjamin Franklin coined this aphorism: Eat to live, don’t live to eat.
 
Attorney General Robert Kennedy used to repeat to his staff this advice that his father, Joe Kennedy, used to drum into his sons: When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
 

Alliterate and Activate

 
Alliteration, another old practiced verbal trick. Consonants are better for alliteration than vowels. And the best of the consonants is “P.” (Remember the nursery verse “Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers”?)
 
Churchill once framed his secret of speaking in a series of P’s.
“Vary the pose and vary the pitch and don’t forget the pause.”
 
Mark Hatfield, in his nomination speech of Richard Nixon in 1960, proclaimed:
“From Caracas to the Kremlin, he has been a pilgrim for peace and a pioneer for progress.”
 
Listen to these words of John Kennedy’s inaugural, featuring B’s as well as P’s: That we shall pay any price, bear any burden
 
Alliteration isn’t arduous. All you need is a $5.95 Oxford Essential Thesaurus. Suppose you want to stress the idea that if you don’t anticipate a customer’s needs you’re not going to sell your product. Well you look up “anticipate” and find “sense” listed as a synonym. So you might rephrase your line this way: If you don’t sense a customer’s needs, you won’t sell your product.
 

The Metaphor Method

 
Churchill had a method for jumpstarting his search for the right metaphor. He would say to himself, “Let’s take a hike.” And, like the psalmist shepherd David, he would conjure up in his mind all the images of nature: rock, tree, stream, grass, pasture, path, hill, bush, mountain, flower.
 
Or Churchill would jumpstart his imagination by mentally going to the zoo, where he would picture the different beasts and birds.
 
For Churchill the reptiles were the Nazis. This technique led to results such as this one:
An appeaser is one who feeds the crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
And to this one about Nazi propaganda:
Like the boa constrictor, they first befoul their prey with their venom before engorging it.
 
Other metaphors draw from body fluids: witness Churchill’s “blood, toil, tears, and sweat.”
General George Patton once used this line that seemed to borrow Churchill’s imagery:
A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood
 

House and Home

 
Sometimes the familiar, everyday routines-household chores, shopping trips, or gardening tasks-suggest apt analogies. For example, President Roosevelt, in supporting the Lend Lease Act in 1940, made this statement: Who would not lend a hose to a neighbour whose house is burning down?
 

So to summarise, it is as easy as pie to cook up a Power Line.

 
First, ask yourself: What is the gist of the “central” idea I want to get across? Write it out and play with it. Like Churchill, “go to the zoo” or “take a hike.” Or, like Roosevelt, think of everyday things and tasks around the house. Or, like JFK, look at the Rhyming Nine. Find a synonym for alliteration as Ted Sorensen did for Kennedy.
 
Remember, though, you only need one Power Line for your talk or presentation-your audience is unlikely to remember more than one line from your talk. Don’t overuse these techniques, or they’ll lose their effectiveness.
 

15 – Power Question

 
Sometimes the rightly phrased question packs the electric brightness and power of a lightning strike. Hone the thrust of your argument into one Power Question.
 
Some of Jesus Christ’s most trenchant teachings are phrased in the form of a question. One of the most cited is this one: For what does a man profit if he shall gain the whole world but lose his soul?
 
Then in another of his parables, he poses this question: Which of you intending to build a tower does not sit down first to count the cost?
 
A question forces the listener to react, whereas a declarative sentence does not. A question can compel a listener to answer, even if in his or her own mind.
 

The Question as a Quip

 
In one of his debates against Stephen Douglas, Lincoln wielded his wit with a Power Question. When the Democratic senator labeled him “two-faced,” Lincoln replied: “If God gave me two faces, would I be wearing this one?”
 

Using a Series of Questions

 
At the 1960 Republican convention, I heard the GOP keynoter, Minnesota Congressman Dr. Walter Judd, a former preacher and missionary, deliver a series of questions:
Was it under Republican administration that seventy million people in Eastern Europe lost their freedom to Soviet Tyranny?
Was it under Republican administration that the billions of Chinese were enslaved under a Communist dictator?
The audience roared back “No” to each of four questions Judd asked.
 

Rhetorical Power

 
Not all Power Questions demand answers of “yes” or “no”-even if unvoiced. Sometimes rhetorical questions-those to which no answer is expected are posed as a speech device to motivate listeners to get involved.
 
Susan B. Anthony made this Power Question the thrust of one of her most noted addresses:
The only question left to be settled now is this: Are women persons?
 
The apostle Paul also used this device. One of his most quoted lines is this rhetorical question: If the trumpet sounds an uncertain note, who shall prepare for battle?
 

Master of Rhetoric

 
In December 1941, just after Pearl Harbor, Churchill was invited to address a joint session of Congress. After reciting “a litany of the outrages,” he stated: “The Japanese have committed against us at Pearl Harbor, in the Pacific Islands, in the Philippines, in Malay… it becomes difficult to reconcile Japanese action with prudence or sanity.”
Then he paused and delivered this rhetorical question: What kind of people do they think we are?
 
So, if you want to wake up an audience, wield a Power Question as Churchill did. Keep it to a single line, and keep it simple.
 

16 – Power Word

 

Introducing Power Words

 
Churchill would introduce compelling or unusual words with a deliberate stuttering pause. In his early years in the House of Commons, Churchill coined this comical euphemism for a lie:
“Perhaps I have been guilty of a [stammer-pause] terminological inexactitude.”
 
Franklin Roosevelt also knew the power of the strategic pause to introduce an unusual word. In his radio address after Pearl Harbor, he selected an arresting word to describe the unprovoked attack.
 
Yesterday, December 7th, a date which will live in [pause] infamy, Pearl Harbor was suddenly and deliberately attacked.
 
Roosevelt might have chosen an alliterative word, such as “disgrace,” but he used “infamy,” a word not otherwise found in Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. “Infamy,” Roosevelt figured, would be a word that would capture the next mornings headlines, and it did. Roosevelt coined another of his magnificent phrases in 1941, before we entered the war: “We must be [pause] an arsenal of democracy.”
 
Actors know the effect of the pause in keying a word in every line. Political leaders who have acting skills such as Churchill, Roosevelt, and Reagan-might choose to emphasise two or three words in a talk. But if you’re an executive, limit yourself to one “impact” word per talk or statement.
 
In every statement you make whether an announcement or brief remarks introducing a new product― identify a key word. You might, for example, use the word “constructive” to explain negotiations or “revolutionary” to describe a software innovation. Turn a key word into a Power Word: reinforce it the way Roosevelt did-with a strategic pause.
 

Adjective assassination

 
In a political gambit called “adjective assassination,” Humes featured the adjective “odd” and its synonyms-bizarre, strange, weird-when crafting comments about Governor Carter’s actions or statements. These would be incorporated into Ford’s messages from the Rose Garden that were designed to capture the evening TV news headlines. A power pause before these words added extra weight to them, making sure they were remembered.
 

17 – Power Active

 
An official from the General Services Administration presented Franklin Roosevelt with a copy of a notice that would be placed in every room of every government office across the land. The bureaucrat read this aloud to the president:
 
IT IS OBLIGATORY THAT ALL ILLUMINATION BE EXTINGUISHED BEFORE THE PREMISES ARE VACATED.
 
Roosevelt, known for his clear communication, wryly replied, “Why the hell can’t you say “Put out the lights when you leave”?”
 
Webster’s Dictionary defines the passive voice with this: In grammar indicating that the subject is the receiver (object) of the action the verb denotes (e.g. the tree was struck by lightning). But “passive” is also defined as “unresisting mentally or physically, inactive, lifeless, unenthusiastic.”
 
Verbal constructions employing the passive voice too often suggest the passive state of mind that is represented by the other definition of “passive.”
 

Churchill wrote: Whab is flabby and blabby

When you finish writing your first draft of a statement or a talk, check it for “Whabby” words, such as these:
Were,
Have, had
Are, is
Be, been
 

Exculpatory Voice (or “Cover-Your-Ass Passive”)

 
Churchill called the passive voice the “exculpatory voice.”
The passive is the verbal tool of those who want to exonerate themselves. Here are a few examples:
Certain misstatements were made.
(Not “We lied.”)
Reductions in personnel may be instituted.
(Not “We are going to fire a lot of employees.”)
Certain errors in judgment were made.
(Not “We goofed.”)
 
The passive is for the “cover your-ass” types. But the active voice is for the take charge leaders. The passive is not the voice of a leader. The passive is the voice of the bureaucrat who wants to duck responsibility. He or she might say this: The policy will be implemented
The leader, on the other hand, would say this: Let’s do it!
 
Some corporate executives like the passive because it uses convoluted phrasing that they think seems more authoritative because it sounds complex. They’re wrong. The active voice provides force to your speech, whereas the passive voice sounds spineless and deadens your delivery.
 
So use a Power Active and empower your delivery. Don’t be a “whabby” wimp. Be like Churchill, and charge up your presentation with some energy.
 

18 – Power Dollar

 
We can describe the Franklin formula for fund-raising with these four words that begin with “D”: Defiance-Design-Donation-Duel
 
Defiance” is a strong word. It suggests a presumptuous, audacious, or even cocky attitude. That’s right-cocky! The first step in fund-raising is psychological. Franklin said that you must psyche yourself into believing that you are doing this investor a favor. You are giving him the chance to be a winning entrepreneur. You are going to make him a bundle! You are giving him a map to the pot at the end of the rainbow! In a sense, you’re selling the potential investor a ticket to treasure.
 
Design: Paint a Picture. The next “D” is for Design Franklin said you must paint a picture of that new product. When Franklin invented the lightning rod, he described to investors how the rod would protect houses from being struck by lightning by deflecting a lightning strike. Franklin knew investors would not invest their dollars in something intangible. They wouldn’t back him just because he had a reputation for being a clever man. They had to picture how the new product would work. Donors like to visualise what they are investing in. Put passion in to your presentation. Put some romance in your recital. Tell the investor how he will be creating jobs, shaping history, and building tomorrow all while reaping big dividends and big profits.
 
Donation: Faint Heart Wins Not The third “D” of fund-raising is for Donation. How much should you ask for? What is the amount that you are going to seek? Franklin said this about requesting donations: “What is the most you think you can ask for? Then double it! Don’t base your request on how much he will give you but on how much you will need!”
 
Know Your Number
Franklin also advised that you have a specific figure in mind. Don’t say, “How much do you think you can invest?” That’s a way of asking that’s almost inviting rejection.
 
The fourth “D” is for Duel In Franklin’s day, dueling was still a way of settling disputes of honor. Although the practice was outlawed, authorities simply winked at the violators.
 
Franklin believed that turndowns happen because the asker speaks too soon after the request. Imagine that it is high noon at the O.K. corral and you must let your potential investor draw first. Wait until he answers before you say anything. The wait-not the asking-is the hardest part, but it’s the sure-fire formula for fundraising.
 

Ask Your Prospect for Advice

 
People never mind being solicited for advice; in fact, they’re usually pleased. When you talk with your prospective investor again, don’t talk about money at first. Ask how she sees the idea-how she envisions such a project.
 
Remember, as Franklin did, that you are giving your prospective investors the opportunity of their lifetime. Show them your design for the future, and boldly ask for a donation. And don’t forget Franklin’s most important advice: Put into play the psychological weapon of the duel. After you ask, keep your mouth shut like a clam. Use the Franklin formula and be a winning fundraiser too.
 

19 – Power Button

 

Ready, Set, Listen

 
The Power Button says to the audience “Ready-Set Listen to set them up for the Power Line that follows.
When writing an article, you can italicise. You can underline. But how can you italicize or underline in a talk? Listeners cannot hear the underlining of a sentence.
A lot of you may use a highlighter pen to emphasise a significant line when you read a report or survey. Well, the Power Button phrase is your highlighter pen, illuminating the Power Line that follows.
 
Power Button secret, crafting sentences that would signal to the listening journalists to be ready for the zinger.
 
One top executive in the hotel business had a line he was fond of using:
The science of business is the science of service.
So, for his Power Button, he crafted this preamble:
THE SECRET IN HOTEL MANAGEMENT IS SIMPLE. IT CAN BE SUMMED UP THIS WAY: [pause] The science of business
 

Light Up a Line Like a Neon Sign

 
Presidents Franklin Roosevelt used a Power Button to dramatise the phrases in his inaugural address. Here’s FDR’s, spoken in March 1933:
 
LET ME AGAIN ASSERT MY FIRM BELIEF [pause] that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
 
This tactic of setting up a Power Line has been used throughout the ages by successful orators. The Greeks had a word for this set-up line: pronyche. Demosthenes, the greatest Athenian orator, applied the technique, in B.C., in warning his audience about Philip of Macedonia:
 
IT IS A PARADOX AND TRUTH THAT I SHALL STATE [pause] what is the worst in the past that can be the best for the future?
 

One Power Button Per Speech

 
Limit yourself to one Power Button in each talk, and then use it only to spotlight a zinger line that you want to leave a burning hole in your listeners’ ears.
 

20 – Power Closer

 

A Strong Last Impression

 
Like Kennedy, Churchill believed in a strong closer. In “The Scaffolding of Rhetoric,” Churchill urged a dramatic closer. The ending, he argued, is the last impression the speaker leaves with an audience. Even if your talk has been flat, you can still leave the audience roused with a good closer. For such a strong ending, said Churchill, you have to appeal to the emotions-pride, hope, love, and, occasionally, fear.
 
Pride-pride in the company, pride in the community, pride in one’s profession or occupation
Hope-a vision for the future, hope for tomorrow, new opportunities, expanded horizons
Love-love of family, love of country, love of God
Fear-the disaster that might happen if steps are not taken immediately
 
To deepen the emotional impact, Churchill would sometimes quote verse from Scripture or Shakespeare. When Churchill had finished reciting the verse, he looked up and said,
What is the answer that I shall give to America and President Roosevelt? Here it is: “Give us the tools and we will finish the job.”
 

Draw from History

Historical anecdotes also make good endings.
 
Your closer doesn’t have to be a tearjerker. Any powerful ending will serve the purpose for ending an introduction, an award ceremony, or a proposal in a board meeting. You can call on the anecdote closer for delivering an incisive point as well as an inspiring plea.
 

Find Your Own Ending

 
Some of the best endings may come from your own experience. So mine your own memories for that poignant experience.
 
The difference between polite and hearty applause depends most on how you finish your talk. So keep in mind that if you are preparing a presentation that sounds a little pedestrian, you can still trigger a big hand by giving an emotional finale.
 
Copy Kennedy and King and other greats from history, or adapt one of your own anecdotes to wind up your talk with a Power Close that triggers a standing ovation.
 

21 – Power Audacity

 
Dare to be different! That’s what made Churchill, Reagan, and Lincoln tower above the crowd. Leaders don’t play it safe. Leaders don’t always follow the script. Speakers can’t manifest podium power by doing the predictable and prosaic.
 
Most speakers we hear rush right into their talk after being introduced. Leaders, however, wait-and force the silence to dramatise their powerful opening statements.
 
Humes learned from the masters that one can gain a great deal by taking the risk of doing the unexpected. Be Bold as it often takes a certain flair to dare to be different, to break precedent, to stray from the script, to do the unexpected. By doing the unexpected, you might also bail yourself out of an awkward situation